Fresh

There is no other way to say it, I'm back. It makes me cringe just saying it, because you can't say it without feeling like a conceited person who expects everyone to rejoice at her return. So, I say it with a period, and not with an exclamation point. Okay. That was not the point. But, you get the idea.

Back from what and where? I'm back from Manila. So, I am now in Abu Dhabi again. I arrived from my six blissful weeks of vacation two days ago. And with that, I am more than eager to work, study, and get myself back in the game. So, I'm back. I'm back from my almost-a-month long, unexpected hiatus.

I wanted to enjoy this vacation, so I decided to spend more time with my family and friends that I have missed so much, and less time online. And it was worth it. I am happy. Although, I'd have to admit that I feel guilty for not seeing a lot of people during my stay. I want to apologize to all those people whom I have promised I would meet, but because of the lack of time, I wasn't able to.

There are a lot of things that happened during the past month, and I am grateful for all of them. I wish I was able to document all of those that I would like to remember, in words--here in this blog, to be exact. But, those moments have passed, and even if I would try to remember how they made me feel, I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly. But, the most important thing that you need to know is that I'm happy. Summer 2010 is one of my happiest ever.

I'd like to believe that this summer marks the start of (not just)a happy school year, but a happier me. I'd like to believe that the grieving and brooding times are over, and I am really back on track with more insight and a wider perspective. It is exciting and scary at the same time, but I believe that I am more than ready to face whatever life throws at me.

And for once in my life, I am taking things slow. No matter how much I like you and where I am in at this exact moment, I am taking things slow because this is important. You are important. And going too fast would ruin the beauty of what I have found in you. I am taking a step back. Everything feels new and exciting and scary. And I think that it's about time that I listen to what God and the rest of the universe has been trying to tell me: Enjoy the moment. Live in the moment. But, keep your faith in destiny. It is amazing when I think about how many little moments were strewn together to make that one big, magical moment happen, the moment I met you. It was like billions of stars banded together to create my own personal sun. And I think that I deserve that after being surrounded by clouds for so long. I think that I deserve this. I deserve to be happy. And maybe along the way, God would decide that I deserve you too. :)

A fresh start doesn't always have to start at the beginning of the year. It just happens. You cannot plan it without really willing yourself to make it happen. You feel it. And right now, I feel fresh. I'm ready to go on with what I have started. This moment marks another new beginning.

Like what Rickie from one of my new favorite books by Marla Miniano, the Every Girl's Guide Series said,

Let's begin clean and let's begin well. Let's begin with what really matters.